{Our Birth Story}

I don't have pictures yet , but i will soon post some.

Before i jump straight to the birth experience, i will give you a little background. I knew i wanted to have a natural birth this time. I knew this was going to be my last pregnancy, my last baby, my last chance. Because i knew these things, i really wanted to make this experience different. I had done some research to show why having a natural birth benefits both you and the baby in many ways. I took a hypnobirthing class, hired a doula, and tried to prepare myself as much as i could for this birth.

When i hit 36 weeks pregnant, life got hard. My last baby, Jaydon, was born 3 weeks early. Tanner was born 2 weeks early, and Gavin was born 1 week early. In my mind he would follow the pattern and maybe be 3-4 weeks early. Although , i knew 4 weeks early wouldn't be a good thing. 3 weeks early would have been good though. And i was hopeful we would have him in March. I wanted him born in March because , before McKoy was born, the boy's brithday months were all 3 months apart. If his was in March we would have birthdays exactly every three months. I figured he would follow and stick with this pattern we had going.

When 37 weeks hit, i was very anxious. I thought it would be any moment. I had false labor a few times. It was very discouraging, thinking i was going into labor, just to have it stop a few hours later. I was checked at my 37 week appt. and was dialated to 2cm. Dialation really doesn't mean anything, so i tried not to be discouraged by it.

For the next week after that i really experienced a lot of contracting, more false labor, and i felt like things were picking up and i would go into labor any minute. So, when i reached my 38 week appointment i was kind of surprised i still wasnt in labor.

At my 38 week appointment the Dr. checked me and told me i was 4-5 cm dialated and that i was about 75% effaced. That explained all the contracting and pressure i was feeling during the week leading up to that appointment. She stripped my membranes and told me to go home and get my bags and go back to the hospital. She thought i was going to go into labor and that once it started i would go fast. I did start contracting, especially when i tried staying active. We got our bags, sent the kids with some friends, and went to Foster. I didn't feel like i should go to the hospital if i didn't feel i was in labor. So , we walked around some stores on Foster, and then finally decided to go into the hospital to see if the contracting i was having was doing anything to my cervix. It hadn't been doing anything, so we went home. I was disappointed, wondering when this little boy was ever going to come. The thing is, i felt like he was ready and felt like my body was ready, and wasn't sure what he was waiting for.

I found myself doing things during the week to relax myself and focus on relaxation techniques i planned to use during labor. I would take a lavender hot bath, turn on pretty music, and focus. I remember praying often during those times. And i remember feeling and knowing that i was going to have angels with me to watch over me and strengthen me during my labor. I knew things would be fine.

As the week went on, and as i was getting closer to 39 weeks, things became pretty quiet. I didn't have tons of contracting like i did the week before. I was discouraged, and i am pretty sure i received two blessings that week from Shane. In one of those blessings i remember him telling me this delivery experience would be everything i have envisioned it to be, and that it would be a very special experience for me. I also remember him telling me it would be hard. The HARD is what stuck out in my mind. SO, i tried to remember that so i could focus myself again. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I wanted this baby to come so bad, i felt huge, and i knew it was time. Why isn't he coming, i thought? In the days leading up to it i remember feeling like something was off, or something wasn't right, but couldn't explain why i felt that way.

Two days before i hit my 39 weeks of pregnancy, i went in to be checked again. I was still 4 cm and 75% effaced. The Dr. Stripped my membranes. I hoped it would start something, but wasn't planning on it since last week nothing came of it.  I just felt like this little boy was going to come when he was darn ready to come. :)  A couple hours after she stripped my membranes i started contracting again, like i didn last week when they were stripped. I didnt think much of it. I was contracting every 8 minutes apart. We decided to go in and get checked. I was experiencing "false labor" again , said the triage nurses. I was so bummed. We came home, went to bed, but i couldn't sleep that night. I kept getting woken up every 8 minutes from the contractions i was experiencing. I couldn't sleep through them. So, at around 2 or 3 am i decided to get up and take a bath, text my mom, and just hang out since i couldn't rest. As soon as i stood up my contractions picked up to every 3-8 minutes apart, depending. I figured this has to be labor, but then again maybe not, since they were irregular. At this point i realized this could quite possibly be another slow labor like Jaydon's was. And the blessing came to my mind when shane said it would be hard. I ws still gearing myself up for that mentally. I took a bath at about 5 am, and things slowed down a little bit after the bath, but i was still contracting every 8 minutes apart. And they hurt. I was kind of hoping it wasn't real labor because i was already so tired from no sleep and dealing with contractions since the day before. I just wanted rest. We gathered our things, and headed to the hospital that morning. I went in with contractions that were coming every 3-8 minutes again. When i stood up they came every 3-4 minutes. When i sat down they slowed to 8 minutes apart. I went in and they checked me and things were still the same. I was feeling lame at this point. This is my 4th child and i still don't have it figured out, i thought. BUT i knew i was in labor, but didn't know what was going on. I didn't understand why it was dragging. Again, i had a feeling that something was off. They sent me home again! The contractions were hurting, but the nurses must have thought i was just being wimpy or something.I knew i was in labor. I didn't understand how all these painful contractions were doing NOTHING to my cervix. And i didn't understand why my contractions slowed down when i sat down, but the minute i stood up they started instantly at 3-4 minutes apart. I just remember thinking i wished the contracting would just stop if they were pointless. I just wanted rest.

We left the hospital frustrated. I called my doula telling her i didn't understand why all these painful contractions for almost 24 hrs were doing nothing to my cervix. She asked if she could come over to our house to help maybe encourage the baby into the right position. She was thinking maybe the baby wasn't in the correct position or something was off balance, and she knew some different poses i should get into to help baby into the correct position. She came over and worked with me for about an hour. When she was done She told me i should nap, which sounded like a great idea. I was already sooooo exhausted from having contractions for almost 24 hours, and no sleep. I needed the rest, i thought. So, i went upstairs, my husband turned on my relaxation techniques, filled the room with a humidifier lavender aroma and shortly after got comfy on the bed. Shane left the room. I started closing my eyes thinking i would be able to get some rest and maybe the contractions would slow down. That's when the contractions suddenly got stronger. They were coming every 4 minutes apart. I got to the point where i coldn't help but MOAN through them. Shane came up and said, "We are going back into the hospital." He didn't think i should be in this much pain for nothing, and he was worried for me. I agreed. I was so exhausted from the pain and no sleep and i didn't want to deal with this pain anymore. I didn't know why i wasn't progressing but i was in such pain. We dropped the boys off at our friends house first. On the drive i was contracting every 3-4 minutes, and they were getting stronger. It was painful. I remember telling him to be careful on turns and bumps while i was contracting.  I wanted to start crying through some of them because i was just soooo exhausted. We got to the hospital, saw the same nurse in triage, and i said "I need MEDS." They just blew it off with a sweet smile of pity, put me in a triage room, and made me wait. I was in my triage room, breathing heavily, and moaning. I didn't understand what was taking so long for them to come help this woman who was OBVIOUSLY in pain. I yelled "I need somebody in here!!" The nurse came in, casually. I could tell she thought "oohh her AGAIN." She instantly checked me, instead of hooking me up to everything again. She said, "Oookay, you are 8 cm, 80% effaced with a bulging bag.

 First thing i said, "are they gonna be able to give me the epidural in time? Will they be fast?!" She said they would be fast. I said, "please hurry". They came in and pushed me to my room. My doula showed up a few minutes after they admitted us to our room. She encouraged me to get out of the bed and in positions that would be more comfortable. They raised up the back of the bed and i leaned over it while on my knees. I let Shane and Amanda(my doula) massage my back and use counterpressure through the contracting. They tried to remind and encourage me to breath through the contracting. I did my best to breath slowly, but i moaned through all of it. When the contraction stopped i just lay there, eyes closed, trying to sleep/relax and enjoy that minute of no pain. I didn't talk. I just stayed in position with my eyes closed. Shane kept coming up and gently putting my face in his hands, kissing my cheek and telling me things i needed to hear. Then he told me, "Angels are here with you ashlee."  As exhausted as i was, i knew he was right. It brought tears to my eyes. And i remembered that feeling i had a few weeks ago that i would have angels with me. My husband confirmed that for me.

Then i stood up and placed my left foot onto the bed and rocked side to side. The contractions were soooooooo intense, i can't even describe the intensity and pain. You have to go through it to understand that kind of pain. As i am contracting, suddenly my water BURST and broke. It sounded like a huge water balloon that just splashed all over the floor. It was CRAZY. That's when the crazyness got more crazy. I started telling them i needed the epidural, when are they coming to give it to me, i need it. I wasn't saying this like a crazy mad person. I was saying it with exhaustion in my voice, and desperation. I was scared. I was scared to push and i knew that he was coming any minute. Amanda and Shane kept telling me that he is almost here, encouraging me, and reminding me this is what i wanted and that he is almost here. They were great. They said "let the dr. check you to see where you are before you get the epidural." I did. They checked me and said i could start pushing if i wanted to. I wanted the epidural first, i said. I was too tired and didn't want anymore pain. The Dr. told me there wasn't time for it. I got up on my hands and knees on the bed again. I started to push and suddenly i wanted to push hard. I could feel him opening me up, and i didnt' like the feeling. It gave me flashbacks to Gavin's birth , which was traumatic for me. The feeling was extremely intense.

I pushed a few more times, felt him moving his way down. I also went to reach down to see if he was there yet because i needed that encouragement if i did feel him there. And when i didn't feel him there it made me more nervous...how much more intense was that feeling going to get, i thought. I pushed some more and through this all i was in another place and zone. I was there in that room having a baby, but then again i wasn't. I was in a completely different place and zone than any of them were. Suddenly, i hear shane say with emotion in his voice, "Ashlee, he is coming. You are doing it. He is almost here." I reached down and felt his head. I felt very encouraged that he was almost here. I remember thoughts coming to my mind during the pushing.... which i believe were angels strengthening me on the other side. As i was pushing it was like someone was talking me through it(in my mind) to give me the strength i needed. There were thoughts coming into my mind explaining to me what was going on and that he was almost here...and that the burning i was feeling was his head coming out, and to remember that was normal, and that means he is almost out. Finally his head was out, and i felt a bit of relief, but still hurt. I started to feel his body come out and could feel the Dr. trying to help him out. Finally he was out. It took me a minute to come back inside myself, and realize it was over. I look down and they placed our sweet baby boy on the bed , under me, so that i could reach down and pick him up all by myself. I grabbed him and held him close, skin to skin, for the next hour. They didn't take him from me, and do all that stuff they like to do. I had him in my arms the first hour, skin to skin. I loved it.  He didn't really cry. He was just calm and peaceful. My husband came in for a big kiss, an emotional sweet kiss. We both had tears in our eyes. It was so special. It was very special. I had never experienced a relief in my life like i did at the moment i realized he was here, the pain was suddenly gone, and we did it. The pain was gone, and we had our reward. That was a truly amazing sense of relief. Nothing like it. We finally had him here. Our anxiously awaited little boy finally was here.  The feeling at that moment is unlike anything i have ever experienced. And again, it's another feeling that i can't explain in words. It's something to be experienced in order to understand.

 I couldn't believe i did it. I DID IT. And i had the best coach by my side. My husband was afraid of not being what he needed to be for me while i was laboring. I knew he would do good, and he exceeded all expectations. He was by my side every second, encouraging me lovingly, massaging me, giving me gentle kisses through it all. He was soooo there. The best support i could have asked for. It was definitely a bonding experience for me, with him. It was a changing experience for me. I think it was for him too. It brought us closer in a very intimate way.

An hour after i gave birth i was up and about walking around, cleaning myself off, eating food, going to the bathroom. It was nice not being stuck in the bed because of an epidural. I had no tearing, which i partially attribute to the position i gave birth. It all went the way i envisioned....for the most part. The only part that didn't go my way was having a quick labor. :) I did go quickly from a 4 to a 10, in a matter of a couple hours....but the laboring before that point was not something i planned on. :) It was 25 hours of laboring. And i was reminded, how Shane said in the blessing he gave me , that it would be hard. Well, it was. It was hard. But so worth it.

I remembered thinking, that day, that i was glad i did it but wouldn't do it again. Now that i have been able to ponder on it some more, and look at the emotional pictures my doula took of the process, i get so emotional about it all. In a good way. I just think about it and i get tears in my eyes. How do you describe your most painful experience to someone as it also being the most incredibly beautiful experience you have ever had? It doesn't make sense. BUT that's the way it was. I don't regret doing it the way i did it. I am glad i did. I wouldn't have had that experience any other way. And i couldn't have done it without my husband's perfect support through it. My love for him and appreciation for him has grown a lot just through this experience. Difficulties bring about GREAT things. This experience has also made me ponder , a lot, of what our Savior went through for us, and how labor and delivery probably has many parallels to what he experienced for each of us. I will save that for another post.

Sweet baby McKoy Seifert Jenks was born at 4:53 p.m. on April 10th. He was a big 8lbs. 15 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long. He had a head of brown hair, and some big chunky cheeks. I knew he was ready to come out before he did. That's a big baby, and he even had long nails. He was just too comfy in there. And now that he is here and i have gotten to know him more, i realize he WAS too comfy in there. He has been a HARD one to wake up. In the hospital they want us to wake the baby and feed him every 2 hours. The nurses couldn't get him to wake up. They tried their tricks but he wouldn't wake up for them. He woke when he was ready. Well, he came when he was ready. :) We all love him. He is a sweetheart.