I am doing some thinking. I LOVE stimulating conversations. I love anything that makes me think and anything that can help me to improve my own self.
We received an article today about how optimism may improve health, success. It should've been titled Optimism DOES improve health and success. :) Reading it brought me back to when i attended Time Out for Women with my BEST FRIEND and her mom. BEST time ever. :) There was a lot of talk on how to become WHO you want to be. I think we all WANT to be happy AND i think we all would LOVE to be an optimist at all times. The hard part can be figuring out HOW to do it.
Everyone discovers their own ways to achieve it. Here are my ways of trying to achieve optismism and happiness....
1. Having a grateful heart. It's easy for us to focus on the things we don't have. I often have to step back out of my life...EACH day....to remind myself of what i have. When i remind myself how lucky i truly am it makes me feel so grateful. And when i feel GRATEFUL it's hard to not be an optimist. I always feel grateful, but it still doesn't completely elliminate DOWN moments i may have. BUT it sure does make them better.
2.Exercise. Wow. Exercise relieves stress for me. I get antsy if i go days without exercise. If i am grumpy i tell myself "i need to go exercise" b/c i always feel better after i do. It's hard to do this EVERY day. For example, i was too tired to wake up early this morning to do it. BUT my goal is to workout 5 times a week and i still can attain that goal.
3. Reading my scriptures daily and praying. This makes me feel closer to my Savior each day. It brings light into my life when i do these things daily. I have the spirit with me, and it helps me focus on my goals for the day. Doing this brings me closer to the Savior AND the more light i receive, the more it helps me improve my own self. I have a good example of this that i will type in a minute. I am not CONSISTENT with this. There will be days here and there that i forget my own personal studies and days here and there that we forget to do it as a family. The main thing is that we do it. If we forget one night, then we are doing it the next. It brings us closer together as a family. It brings the spirit in our home. It's a good way to keep contention out of the home. Doing this and improving my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father is why i can achieve all these other things in my life. They give me love and hope and strength to become who they know i can become and who i know i can become.
4.Finding the good in most situations. You have to. If you can't find the good in most situations then you will be miserable. If you have a grateful heart then this can be easy to do. BUT This can also be hard to do. Some situations it can be really hard to find the GOOD. IF you can't find the good, then you can ask yourself "what did i learn from this?". When you do that, you found the good. Learning and progressing is always good.
5. Daily goals. Shane and I like to set a goal for ourselves and each other just for ONE day. We talk that night about if we think we did well on our goal for the day. Then we set a goal we want to achieve for the next day and talk about it again that night. Small goals are more attainable than LARGE goals. Baby Steps. We ARE NOT consistent with this either. It's been a very ON and OFF thing. But it is something that we TRY to do once in awhile. :) It really helps not only with OUR relationship, but with our relationship with our kids b/c one of the goals always has to do with our kids.
6.Spending time with my family. It's all about LOVE. I love when we can spend time together. It makes me happy and makes me grateful. On the other hand it can make me stressed, depending on what we are doing....BUT something i have been trying to achieve for the past couple years is NOT getting stressed in stressful situations. For example, it's easy to get tired and stressed when we all go on a small getaway. What makes it stressful for ME is packing, rushing to figure out the whole situation, stressing that i might forget something IMPORTANT. It wouldn't be stressful for ME if i forgot it if i were alone b/c i would figure out a way to do without it....BUT it becomes stressful b/c i have a husband and kids to think about and i don't want to let them down. And not only that, but it can be stressful trying to chase and keep track of the kids. Well, mainly Jaydon. BUT here's the thing... i try to find attributes that i really like about my friends. I am grateful for good friends and examples around me. I find those attributes that i like in others and i start to work on becoming that way. It's like a mental game, really. I try to find the joy in packing, try to find the joy in tackling Jaydon 500 times a day. I try to find the joy b/c i know i will look back and wish i would've. I don't want many regrets with my own family.
7. Giving others the benefit of the doubt. I used to have a hard time with this. BUT i have improved. I think most people aren't out to hurt you, whereas before i used to feel like they were. Some people just do and act different than yourself and just b/c they do doesn't mean they are doing something wrong. They act the way they know. Giving people the benefit of the doubt will really help illiminate stress in one's life. A lesson on Sunday talked about a past Prophet and how one day he noticed something from his wagon was missing. I don't remember what it was. Maybe it was the rope for the wagon or the cover for it? Anyway, his response was "well, i wish i would've seen him because i would have given him a blanket b/c he was probably cold and i would've given him some food because he was probably hungry." He didn't think "Oh no! WHO would do this! stupid people! i am so mad!" He thought deeper than that and thought that maybe this person who stole it was in a great need because they probably wouldn't steal otherwise. And so then he felt bad for that person. I want to be like that.
8. Service. Nothing is better than serving others. You learn to love others, you become closer to God, you learn who you are. It's the best key to happiness for EVERYONE. A person can never go wrong in serving others, happily. :)
At Time Our for Women i learned a lot of stuff. One was about NOT focusing on our weaknesses. Instead , focus on your strengths. I remember a time when i saw all my friends around me sewing the cutest stuff. And they seemed to be able to make the cutest stuff in a couple hours. I can't sew. I wanted to make cute stuff like them and i tried, but still couldn't achieve it. Then i realized, "i am wanting to sew only b/c my friends are doing it, NOT b/c i REALLY want to do it." I don't like sewing. Period. I had to come to that realization, first. Then i thought about WHAT i CAN do and tried to focus more on that and forget about trying to accomplish all these other things that everyone seems to be able to do that I CAN'T do. That was weight off my shoulders when i realized that.
Some good quotes that i wrote down from Time Out for Women:
"A woman gripped by fear is weak because this attribute and its resulting behavior is limiting."
"Weaknesses in ourselves can best be discovered through constant prayer and reflection."
"The way we often think can interfere with our peace, our progress, and our relationship with God."
"The door to BECOMING is to learn and know things."
"Never compare your worst to their best."
"Leave room in your heart for holy envy. There will be things that other will do better than you."
"Celebrate other's success."
"Your thoughts will determine what you become in this life."
I love this quote and i think it helped me..."The more you accept the fact that parenting isn't easy, the easier it gets."
One more thing that i heard at Time Out for Women that i really liked....
One of the speakers told a story about LIGHT AND TIDYING UP A ROOM as being symbolic to our own selves and progression.
So , in referring to our own progresssion.....Heavenly Father gives us a small light and asks us to go in a room to tidy it up. We go in, there isn't much light. But we can see that the rug is folded up against the wall and the couch isn't placed in a good spot and the lamp is on the floor. So you fold out the rug and place it on the floor, place the couch in a decent spot and pick the lamp up and put it next to the couch. You go out the front door and there is Jesus. He gives you a brighter lamp than the one before and asks you to go in and clean it up. You might ask yourself "why? i just did." But you go in and find that you can see more with the brighter lamp and realized you missed a few things that you didn't see before. For example, the rug was placed the wrong way, so you turn it over the right way. You notice that the cushions were placed the wrong way on the couch b/c the zippers are showing towards the front, so you turn those around. Then you go out the front door and Jesus is standing there again, and this time he has a brighter light than the one you just used and asks you to go in and clean up the room, "i just did. i didn't miss anything." But you go in this time and with the brighter light you are able to see you did miss some stuff. You missed all the dust and cobwebs that were over in the corner. You missed that the rug needs vacuumed. And so you clean it.
This story is such a great example to me of how as we receive more light in our lives we are able to grow and progress and become WHO we want to become. We receive more light in our lives by growing closer to our Savior. We are able to become better inside, gradually, as a person as we receive this extra light he will give us by knowing him personally.
Anyway, like i said...i really like stimulating conversations. I love pondering and thinking about spiritual topics because i can actually make sense of it and I can see results when i do those things that are necessary to return to HIM. I love growing and progressing and learning. It's awesome. :) Everyone has their own way to happiness. This is my way.
“The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” President Gordon B. Hinckley
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