Here are the boys playing in the toy room with their little people garage. They both love playing with this. They love cars.
Tanner is a huge eater! If i allowed it, he would eat all day long. At meal time, he doesn't stop eating on his own... I have to decide when i think he has eaten enough. Even after eating he goes searching for food scraps on the floor, which were thrown down on the floor by him at the table.
Well, i had been feeling bad b/c we don't have books around here that are for Gavin's age anymore. They are all made for Tanner's age. Soooo, reading gets boring and the same old thing. We decided to go to the library and we checked out a bunch of books and Gavin loves it. We've been reading a ton and we decided that we are gonna go to the library at least once a week now. They also have a little play center for the kids so they can read or play around. It is nice. It is something new we discovered we can do when it is cold out. I know, it is common sense to go to the library, but sometimes you forget little things like that that are available. Now, just something i need to put in my "journal." Everyone's blogs, including mine, makes it appear that life is perfect as a mom. On the contrary, being a full-time mom is HARD. Sure there are many days that life can feel perfect, don't get me wrong. And being a mom is very rewarding and fills our hearts with so much love. But realistically, some days are great, others good, and some are just down right INSANE to where i feel like i am gonna lose it. It is so easy for me to look at others and think, "man, they look like they are really LOVING EVERY MOMENT of being a mom." What i mean by that is, they never "appear" to get overly irritated by their kids, they appear to never want to be away from them, they appear as if they are always happy with them and doing all these activities with them every second of their day. Just so perfect. I know, i know, things are not always what they seem. I have no idea what life is REALLY like for them, BUT it is so easy to be hard on myself as a mom when i get feelings that are anything but loving feelings. I think to myself, "what is wrong with me. How could i feel this way, these are my kids!?" I know that i have the hardest, greatest, and most influential job to ever exist. Maybe that is why it is so hard. I know it is unrealistic to think i could be happy, loving, and giving all the time. Not only is it unrealistic, but some days i just don't feel like giving anymore of myself than i already am. Selfish? Maybe. But oh well. In order for my kids to grow up happy and the way i have hopes for them to be, then i have to make sure that their momma is happy too. If i am not happy, if i am feeling overworked and overwhelmed(stressed)...my kids will sense it. Then they will start acting out. You know that saying, "If momma ain't happy then ain't nobody happy." Well, i have learned that is soooo true! So, thinking about it that way, i have the right to have time for myself. I owe it to myself AND to my kids. I am human...who ever said that mom's are supposed to be perfect?! I shouldn't feel bad for feeling like i need a break from my kids every once in awhile. I shouldn't feel bad for getting sooo excited when bed time comes around! :) Thank goodness that i have the Lord to give me strength every day to help me raise my kids. :) Life wasn't so stressful when it was just Gavin(before he turned 2)...after Tanner came and when Gavin turned 2, both happening right at the same time, being a mom became a lot more difficult than i expected. That said, I do LOVE being a mom. I LOVE and ADORE my boys. I wouldn't trade it for anything! Typing this out helps me to sort out my feelings on what i have been feeling lately....On whether i should feel like a cruddy mom or not. It seems like talking about the hard side of being a mom is something that people try to avoid talking about. I wonder, why that is? Sometimes we just need someone to talk to that feels the same way we do. We need to know that we are not the only one's.
6 comments:
you must not read my blog :)
i complain about my kids all the time. sometimes i feel like that's all i do. i think every mom is entitled to some whining, it is a tough gig.
that being said, i think i'm up for another game night next week. wanna come?
Wow I really liked this blog entry. I know exactly how you feel and like you said it isn't easy to say our feelings when we are so busy caring for everyone else. I feel as though a lot of people under estimate a stay at home mommy. But I found a couple quotes that I love and try to remember when I feel down:
"Being a Mother is the highest paying job, higher then any salary job cause Motherhood is payed with pure love."
"Mother is the name of God in lips and hearts of children."
It is pretty powerful being a mom and I am the same way I feel guilty sometimes taking a break for myself but YOU have too and that is something that I think every GOOD Mom has to learn. Thanks again for your post I really enjoyed it I have kind of been feeling the same way. You're a great Mom and keep it up!!!
Even though Hannah is young, it is still hard sometimes. She is a very good baby, so I got lucky with that. But, there are some days, when Kevin has been gone for 24 hours+ and I am totally needing a break! I know what you mean!
Great job with finding the library. It is free too! Also, check and see what activities they have for kids. Our library has a "get up and move" class. Hannah is too young, but I can't wait for her to try that out!
You are a great Mom. Always remember that. There are days that are hard, but it is all worth it! Your boys are so happy and healthy. You are doing great!
I have some fun books to recommend for Gavin, if you haven't already discovered them... "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" and "Knuffle Bunny", both by Mo Willems.
I am so glad you posted this. Funny thing is, I thought you were one of those perfect moms who always keeps her cool(I still think you are a pretty perfect mom). These last couple of weeks have been SO hard and feel like I could loose it at any moment (actually today was a good day but that is 1 out of like 10). Being a Mom is stinkin' hard. You have to do things for yourself too! We need to have a girl's night out!
I must not talk to you enough :) You apparently haven't heard enough of my "spewing." Let me tell you how grateful I am for my 2 girls that go to bed at 6pm and 7pm respectively and sleep through the night until 7-8am. I fully believe that the happiness of a mom is directly proportional to when their kids go to bed and how long they sleep :)Okay, not really, but it's close! We all need that quiet time to rejuvenate and work up the "love" for the next day! And having a husband that fully supports alone time or girl time helps too. But all of us mommies...WE'RE DOING GREAT! Even if we lose it sometimes...
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