{You have to Earn it}

Our BIG Reader!  Some of the kids in the neighborhood go outside and ride on their skateboards often.  Gavin has been hanging out with them a lot and they like to show him tricks. They are a few years older than he is and they are such nice kids.  He decided he really wanted a skateboard. I told him he could EARN a skateboard IF he reads 100 books.  He finally reached 100. I guarantee he has read more like 200-300, but he had to write down and keep track of the books he read AND he forgot to keep track of many books he read. Finally yesterday, he was READY to get that skateboard. He spent ALL morning reading and reading to his brothers, keeping track of his books.  Stories like Magic Treehouse, The Giving Tree, How I Became a Pirate, etc.  He finally achieved it.  We went to the store and he is now a proud owner of his very own Tony Hawk Skateboard. He feels really proud of himself.

Tanner was upset because he wanted a skateboard too.  That conversation was the beginning of our next YOU-HAVE-TO-EARN-IT reward.  I told Tanner i would buy him a skateboard if he can memorize all the 13 Articles of Faith. He was distraught at first that he has to memorize 13! But i had him recite to me the 1st and 2nd articles of faith because he already knows those.  I told him "see, you only have to memorize 11 now because you know the first two already." He got very excited when he realized that. So, I offered a reward to gavin if he can memorize the articles of faith as well, but his reward hasn't been decided.  And i am trying to figure out what Jaydon can do to earn something. Memorizing all 13 articles of faith would be pretty hard for him.

Gavin has finally reached a point in his life, in the past couple of weeks, where he is really starting to feel guilt and remorse for things he is doing wrong.  He told tanner yesterday "you are so mean!" because tanner wouldn't let him read a book he had.  Tanner didn't say anything back to gavin, just walked into gavin's room and gave him the book to let him read it. At first , when i saw him doing that, i wanted to grab the book from tanner before he could give it to Gavin and say "we don't reward bad behavior." But i waited to see what would happen. Tanner handed it to him and then Gavin said "I am sorry, you can keep it Tanner. I can't believe i just said that to you. That was so mean of me." He felt so bad and kept saying over and over "I shouldn't have said that."  This is all very new for him.  And it makes me feel good knowing he is reaching that point where he feels remorse for doing wrong things. He is starting to get it. :)

Tanner is that way a lot with Gavin...loving and caring and kind. I mean, don't get me wrong, he will lash out at Gavin sometimes, but he is such a good example to me of love and patience. He has great love and patience for Gavin and it taught me a lesson because i struggle with patience with Gavin and this example showed me the way i should act, rather than act out of anger. Anger only creates anger and hurt and sadness.