{Memories}

I will often smell something in the air, read someone's thoughts in a book, or see something out in nature that brings back childhood memories. Sometimes it reminds me of a forgotten memory, and the only thing i recall is that it was good. The other morning, as i was walking to my friends house to meet for our morning run, the wind was blowing, but not so much that it was obnoxious. It was a gentle breeze against my face. I closed my eyes and took in the delicate brush of wind and slowly took deep breaths in trying to take in the smell of the air. It was in that moment when the combination of the breeze and smell in the air reminded me of something, although i couldn't put my finger on it. What i do know is that it was a comforting and happy memory. I know that because that's the feeling that swept over and rushed through me. I stopped walking, trying to take in as much of that feeling/memory as i could, because i knew that as soon as i turned the corner the wind wouldn't blow the same gentle way against my face. As soon as i turned the corner that memory and feeling i was experiencing at that moment would go away. But i knew i needed to keep walking in order to meet my friends in time for our run. I started walking again, turned the corner, and that feeling quickly made it's exit.

I had another moment like that not too long ago. I was in the car with my boys and husband. Shane was driving, like usual, and we were driving through Okinawa streets passing by a bunch of homes. The weather outside was perfect. You know that feeling where if the air were 3 degrees cooler you would need a sweater? It was like that. Not chilly enough for a sweater, but perfect. Looking at the homes, feeling the breeze in my face and smelling the aroma outside and hearing the sounds sent a rush of calming feelings through my body. I love those moments. It's a moment of perfect inner peace and contentment. It was almost like it was a memory, a good memory, but again i couldn't point it to any particular time in my life.

As i was sitting on the couch reading a book, there were a few lines that started making me think about my childhood. It was bringing up in me those peaceful and content feelings that i felt that morning on my walk to meet my friends. And it was the same feelings i felt as we were driving around in the car with the breeze gently blowing in our face. I love Oklahoma. Tulsa, Oklahoma. The weather is awesome, nearly perfect. The evenings were the best time. We would sleep with our windows open at night. And if it was really hot we used those big box fans to keep us cool. Most nights i didn't need a box fan. I am so glad because otherwise i would miss out on the sounds that nature provided for us. It was the sounds of crickets chirping and locusts singing. There was a constant humming noise at night time. That was basically my lullaby. Sounds silly, but it was. It was what put me to sleep. It relaxed me, comforted me, and made me feel at peace. And when the breeze would blow in through the windows i would be able to smell the freshness of the newly cut grass. And sometimes i could hear laughter coming from outside and that made my memory even better. Or the smell of bbq coming in through the windows. I would wonder who cooks late at night, but i didn't mind because that smell was heavenly. Comforting. That's a wonderful memory. And maybe it's because of those childhood memories that made those comforting feelings arise in me during my walk to my friends house, and during our drive on the streets of Okinawa. I am grateful for those memories. I am grateful for all my memories. One other memory that came to my mind is when my dad would do his gardening.

My dad loved having a garden. It was his hobby. He never asked for help, he just went out and cherished his moments of gardening. I know how gardening made him feel. I could see it in his face. I could also hear it in his voice when he would tell me about his fruits and veggies as he was showing them all to me. I remember his blackberries. He always grew blackberries. They were always so plump and big, bursting with juice. He can make a killer blackberry cobbler. My favorite blackberry cobbler that i still think of to this day is when he cooked it in the dutch oven over the fire at our campground. I can taste it right now. Yum. Anyway, i am getting side tracked. I loved picking some of his berries and trying to pound as many as i could without anyone noticing that i was eating too many. I didn't like the taste of tomatoes at the time. BUT i did LOVE the smell of freshly picked garden tomatoes. Oh that smell is a smell to remember. He gardened many other things, but those are the TWO i remember because they were my favorite. When he and my mom come in April to visit us he is going to help me plant a few veggies and herbs. I can't wait. I can already see his face as he is helping me put the soil in the pots, and making sure the seeds and plants get planted in just right. He makes certain facial movements involving his mouth. He does it anytime he is in a zone, busy doing something with his hands. I always noticed it most when he was mixing something. It makes me laugh just thinking about it right now. :)

I feel like i forget a lot of memories, yet i remember certain one's in detail. Like the smell of my dad coming home from work. He smelled like scrubs, like a hospital. To some that might seem weird, but that's the way i remember the smell of my dad. I love the smell of a hospital to this day because that's what my dad smells like. I like being in a hospital. It comforts me. I feel safe. It makes me happy. If only all doctors could bring that same feeling of comfort and safety. :) haha!

In a world where there are so many bad memories that can be created, i sure am thankful for the good memories. I rely on those in times of sadness, loneliness or need. Because of the bad we can truly learn to love and appreciate the good. So, in a way, i am grateful for the bad because then i can understand and know when i have good. And i have lots of good around me. My husband, my kids, my friends, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my family in Idaho and Utah, the gospel, my Savior, my life, a home, food to eat, people who love and care about me, my health, opportunities to experience the world, to experience life. That's all i really need. Where your treasure is there will your heart be also.