Baby # 3...

It's a BOY! Can you believe it? I can't. I am totally shocked. I seriously thought i was pregnant with a girl! For sure. I already had the names picked out to choose from, the bedding i wanted, the way i wanted the nursery to look. :) I should have known. We are so excited though. I noticed it was a boy before the nurse said it was. I thought i was noticing a little boy part and was like, "WAIT A SECOND!!! Is it a BOY?!?!?" in complete shock. Sure is. Oh my heavens, i thought. I am so outnumbered. :) But, i feel lucky b/c boys always love their momma's....with girls, you never know. :) Even thinking about it now i just can't believe it though. Three boys running around....hahaha...wow, this is a lot to take in. :) I am such a dork though. I already cleared out the room across from ours...moved everything out and vacuumed it and it is ready to be set up! :) A little excited, huh? :) I have a theory.....We aren't sure if we will have more after this baby, we have thought of stopping....BUT i want a GIRL before we stop. So, the Lord knows that. He knows how to work it. "Give her another boy b/c then they will have more kids." That is my theory. :) Really, deep down i want a big family. Truly. I think it is exciting and fun and rewarding. Family is life. How could i not want a big family? BUT i have feared not being able to handle too many pregnancies OR not being mentally tough enough to handle that many kids. I feel like i am getting better as a mom as time goes by though. And that is a good thing. I sure don't want to get worse. It is amazing how our children bring more JOY in our lives than anything we can experience...it can be the most rewarding job ever. Just the best. BUT it can be the hardest job on earth. Isn't it crazy how it can be the best job and yet the HARDEST job?! It is crazy to me. I LOVE the hardest job on earth.
Oh, and one more thing i want to blog.... When we couldn't decide whether we wanted a third one or not, i was stewing about it all the time. Basically, i was fighting it b/c i feared the pregnancy, the delivery, and the hard part of adding a third. I remember getting this overwhelming feeling to have FAITH that it will be fine. I got this feeling that the Lord knows my fears and that i need to have faith that he would help me through it. Shortly after, we prayed about whether to have a third one or not, and one week later we got pregnant. The feelings and experiences that have led to this moment have helped my faith grow in knowing that the Lord knows us and watches over us and helps us through tough times, which we don't always acknowledge until after we get through those times. :)