{Just a LITTLE Vent }

I feel like i am doing a lot of this lately, except make sure you add another child(one who is always whining) in the picture and a 7 month pregnant belly onto the woman. My story.... And Today i feel a lot like this....

Today is supposed to be a good day. It is nice out. Just beautiful. But i feel like screaming. Both of my boys turned on the whining and crying button today and won't turn it off. We were going to go for a walk, which they love. I was excited b/c it is a nice escape and relaxing. Gavin's seat had a little water on it. So, i went and got a rag and wiped it off. I already locked up the house so i set the rag on the steps. We start walking, but Gavin decides to throw a fit b/c he wants the rag inside the house, not on the steps. I was like, "What? What are you talking about...we will get the rag when we get back." Gavin says, "But i don't want it outside. I want it in the house. It will get blown away. Or a squirrel will get it." I told him the rag would not get blown away or taken by a squirrel and that it would be fine. He starts throwing an even bigger fit. I am thinking to myself, "What is going on? He is upset about a rag sitting on the steps?!" So, i lost patience quick and decided we weren't going for a walk anymore. We went inside. Then he starts throwing a fit that his seat on his bike is going to get dirty if we leave it outside....Need i remind you, it is sunny and there is not one cloud in the sky. His bike is never dirty. All i know is that he didn't get that from me. :) I am not a clean freak. I like my house clean, but i am not very particular like that. I don't let the little things bother me. Wow, i really needed to vent. Now i just need to use some breathing techniques b/c i am still losing it inside.

As for Tanner, well, today he has just been testing me big time. He is saying no to me a lot and throwing fits too. It is a bunch of little instances here and there. He is usually the one who listens to me fairly well, but he isn't so much today.

I just need to get away....leaving the kids with daddy for a few days. I need naps during the day, and need to accomplish some things other than trying to keep the house clean. :) And i am going stir crazy inside b/c i just want to finish the baby room. I don't have money to do it nor do i have the time. It is driving me nuts. Ever have something you just want or NEED to get done right away and you just feel this sense of urgency to do it? That is the way it is, but i can't accomplish it. :) Still trying to smile. Okay, really, i really am fine, i just needed to vent a bit. Being pregnant doesn't help any either. All these situations are frustrating, but being pregnant on top of it makes it probably ten times worse. My discomforts of being pregnant are starting to kick in...mainly my stomach feeling like it is getting BIG(uncomfortable), and the past 2 days i have been getting painful braxton hicks contractions. They usually start after i go for a walk. I walk on the treadmill. I don't walk fast...i go anywhere from 3.5 to 3.8 mph. I can't even do that for 30 minutes anymore without bringing on the contractions AND having the baby press down on my bones sending sharp pains in different areas. I just wanna walk, dangit. I never got contractions like this with the other two. So, getting them all day long brings on a great deal of irritation. Maybe my kids are just acting out to the mood they sense i am in....or maybe i just lack a great deal of patience right now. Probably both. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh. I know tomorrow will be a better day...most likely... sorry you had to hear my venting, but i guess it is my journal so i can do with it what i want. :) I realize i will have these days on and off for the next few months. It is okay...i always make it through and completely forget about them the instant a day is good....when mommy is patient and the boys are happy. :)

Anyway, question....anybody know where i can find CHEAP curtains?! I mean cheap, but cute. :) I want curtains for the baby room. Also, know where i can find a CHEAP floor lamp?!?! When i say cheap i mean like no more than about $15-20.

{Standing up for YOU}

Here are a few quotes i like...

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not. ~Henri Frederic Amiel

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you? ~Fanny Brice

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide

Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone.

For you pregnant mommies out there...

Here is a fun little quiz to take when you find the time. Go to this website...http://www.justmommies.com/quizzes/labor_prediction_quiz.php
It is a Labor Prediction Quiz. Here is what they predict for me, which i hope is true. It will be fun to see if it is right or way off! :)

Labor Prediction for me:
You won't need to try any secret recipes to bring on labor. Have your emergency numbers ready. Don't wait until the last minute to get your nursery ready. We predict your baby will come 1-2 weeks early. Your baby will most likely be born in the morning. Justmommies predicts that your baby will weigh approximately 7.8 pounds and that your labor will be about 10 hours long.

Sounds nice, huh? We will see.

{Bored...so we made our own fun}

The boys and I were bored last night. Shane was studying the entire evening so we decided to pull out the camera and take pictures. I would tell the boys what faces to make and they would make them. They loved seeing the picture after we took it. They thought it was hilarious.

For this shot i told them to make a fishy face. This is what they did...

For this shot i told them to squish their cheeks together...

Here i told them to make goggles with their hands and look through them...

Here i told them to open wide and i would take a picture of their mouth....

Here i just told them to let me take a picture of their nose, so they did this...

And here i told them to give me a big pretty smile...

I told them to make a funny face together...

And more funny faces...

And to give each other hugs....

We had a lot of fun taking these pictures. If Gavin's face looks greasy in some of these pictures it is b/c it is greasy. We have to put aquaphor on his face b/c it gets really dry around his mouth. Aren't they so funny? I got in some of the pics with the boys, but i am too embarrassed to post them b/c i look like death. Yeah. Soon i am going to have Shane take my maternity pictures for me. I am going to direct the whole thing, of course, he will just push the button for me and make sure i am standing in the right place. I am excited for those. Then maybe i can see what i look like pregnant with makeup on. Most pics i take of myself pregnant are just me lounging in sweats and no makeup. No wonder i feel so ugly when i am pregnant. I never see myself all dolled up.

Gavin at age 4 years and 3 months old: Still LOVES Transformers. Loves taking charge of a situation. Loves being a big brother. Loves helping out. Loves compliments. Needs to stay busy most of the time. Can eat as much as mommy at dinner time. Loves Mario Kart. Loves preschool and wishes he could go everyday. Loves pushing mommy's buttons and knows HOW to do it. Loves to read books. Loves bugs, animals, and dinosaurs. Loves to be the center of attention. Can be shy. Is a teaser! LOVES rough housing with daddy. Very sweet and sensitive. Daddy's boy.

Tanner at age 2 years and 6 months old: Has a very loud voice. Doesn't really like to be teased much. Likes to play rough once in awhile, but mostly just likes to be held and played with gently. Is potty trained. Momma's boy. Wants to please mommy and daddy. Loves to play with cars and dinosaurs. Loves his big brother so much. Is a leader. Doesn't need to play with others. He is fine playing on his own. Very sweet. He will quickly let you know if he doesn't like something. He is so funny, but doesn't try to be.

{The past 2 weeks}

Have been busy! We've had my brother and parents here, Tanner got pneumonia, then Shane's mom came to visit....and for 2-3 weeks i have had a sinus infection, Shane's had allergies... basically someone in this household has been sick for the past month. I finally got put on some antibiotics so it should be cleared up in a few days. pheeeww. I will finally be able to sleep and taste my food. I can't wait. I have also been busy making myself a tote bag, hoping to use it for a diaper bag. I will post some pics when i am done, but i am already finding different patterns and materials for more sling bags and tote bags to start on soon. I could make a ton of these. They are fun to make and soooo cute! I am in my 28th week now. Time is going by fast. Seriously. This baby already acts like he is ready to come out. He is so darn active that i can't believe it. He gets hiccups like 5 times a day. I think he might want to make an early appearance in this world being that he is already trying to kick his way out. I am not making any predictions though. :) I am already excited about getting this baby out of me and being able to start running again. :) I am excited to see wat he looks like. I already know his personality is more like Gavin's. This baby acts very similar to the way Gavin acted in my belly.

Unfortunately i didn't take any pictures when my mom and dad and bro came to visit. If i had i would have posted the pics. When Shane's mom was here i carried my camera around so i was able to get some pics. Here are some of the things we did... Usually i would put my pics through photoshop to make them pop more, well, i didn't this time. Hopefully they still look good! :)

These pictures were taken at the Natural History Museum. We get in free with our Boonshoft pass. We couldn't believe we hadn't been there yet. The boys LOVED it.

These next pics were taken at the Great Lakes Science Center. We get in free here with our Boonshoft pass too. ;)

These next pics were taken at the zoo. We get in here for free with our Boonshoft pass too. Yes, the Boonshoft pass gets you into all kinds of places for free. It is only $59.00 a year too. It gets us into the zoo into Idaho Falls for free, so when we go visit shane's fam we will go there for free! It really is a great deal. You should look into it. Well, i guess i shouldn't say we get in free, but just a few visits to the zoo would cost us $59.00...so we have definitely used up the $59.00 a long time ago, so technically we get in for free. Great deal.

And here we are at the park just down the street from our house. Another free trip. ;) Jeez, i can't get enough of this free stuff.

{Mother's Intuition..Don't ignore it}

Last Wednesday evening at about midnight Tanner woke up not feeling good. He had a sore throat and fever. The next day he acted fine and i never noticed a fever. We were at Kalahari which might explain why he acted fine....though he was kind of grumpy. :) Friday he had a bad fever. I intuitively started wondering if it could be pneumonia. I don't know why. Maybe b/c his signs led me to think that, but who knows why. He had a fever of 103, heart was pounding out of his chest and really fast, rapid breathing, loss of appetite, bad cough.... I just didn't like it. I gave him some medicine and medicine seemed to help. The next day, Saturday, he felt like crud again. This time his fever got up to 104. I had contacted my pediatrician and she told me that it might not be pneumonia, suggested a few things to watch for and to call her back later. Well, he was getting really RED from his fever and it reached 104 and i just didn't like what was going on so we got in the car and headed for the ER. I called my pediatrician to let her know, BUT she said, FIRST go get some children's ibuprofen and if he perks up he is probably fine. He did perk up, but could tell he was still sick. Something just didn't feel right to me. That night i was so worried about him. I kept thinking, still, that he had pneumonia. I looked it up on the internet, was afraid to have him sleep through the night without me there with him. I was just uneasy. Sunday morning he acted fine. I thought he was getting better. Still acting kind of sick and looked a little sick. I decided to take Tanner into the pediatrician before church so that they could take a look at him to let me know he was going to be okay. Before i left his fever was about 100....By the time the pediatrician took a look at him he looked horrible and his fever was up to 103 already. He could barely keep his eyes open, his eyes kept watering and gooking up, his face was flaming red, he was breathing rapidly. It was horrrible. On the way over to their office it just hit him HARD. They looked at him and the doctor kept saying, "hhmmmm, yeah, he doesn't look good to me. I don't like the way he looks." Then she went and got another Doctor and he came in. He took off Tanner's shoes and socks and said that his feet were like ice. I thought, oh my, usually he is hot even if it is 40 degrees out. They took his oxygen levels and it was 92%. They said they don't want to see it lower than 93%. They did a cap test and it was 4-5 seconds and it should be no more than 3 seconds. He wasn't receiving oxygen very well to his tissues. His lungs sounded really bad they said. They just didn't like any of what they were seeing. They both left for a minute and then he came back in and said, "You know, i think we are going to call an ambulance over to escort you two to the hospital." I was shocked. I felt so bad for Tanner. I wish i would have just taken him in when i started suspecting it. We got there and they hooked him up to oxygen and put an IV in him. They told us he would have to stay overnight. They started him on antibiotics and monitored him all night, giving him breathing treatments and upping the oxygen he was receiving b/c overnight his levels would drop to 89%. But the next day he was doing so much better. He didn't have a fever anymore. They took him off the oxygen at around noon, i think. They let us take him home Monday night. It was all so scary and too familiar. This is my second ambulance ride with Tanner to the hospital! And he is only TWO! The first time he had a seizure. Then where he stayed in the hospital is the same place he stayed for 2 weeks , 2 weeks after he was born. So all of it brought back scary memories that i try to forget....those memories where you fear losing your child and wish you could be the one in pain instead of your child. Anyway, when we found out it was pneumonia Shane was like, "you called it...i mean, how did you know or what made you even think it was pneumonia?" All i can say is, it is mother's intuition or the Holy Ghost speaking to me. Maybe both. I need to listen to it more often and act on it quicker. Something was telling me for 2 days that there was something more wrong than just the flu. :) Before Tanner was even born i spent my days worrying about him. We found out through ultrasound before he was born that he had gastroschisis(belly didn't close up and his bowels were hanging out)...Then after he was born he was in the hospital for a month. There we found out that he also had hypospadius(you can look it up)...so he had to get two surgeries done. One surgery a few days after birth and one to fix the hypospadius and i think that was when he was somewhere around 3-6 months old. Then we found out he has Alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency maybe when he was 2 months old.(too long of an explanation). A mild case. Then he seizured and we took an ambulance ride to the hospital, then this happens. I mean even after we were able to take him home for the first time from the hospital after being born we still had to make MANY trips to the hospital for blood draws and x-rays. He got poked more times than i can count. Each time i wanted to cry, especially when i had to help hold him down. They always had the hardest time finding a vein so they would poke and repoke somewhere else, over and over, trying to get it. It was probably more emotionally scarring for me than it is for him. He won't remember it. Ohhhh, anyway, He just is breaking my heart. I feel terrible that he has had to go through so much in the beginning of his life. It scares me all the time. So much has happened and i am afraid of losing him or Gavin. It is a huge fear of mine that is growing with every little accident that happens. I am not good at this mother thing. Emotionally. I worry so much for them all the time. My fear of losing one of them grows everyday. Now, i don't sit and worry to the point where i am not enjoying life. I just realize how important they are to me and treasure them so much and love them so much.
Thanks so much to those of you who have expressed concern about Tanner or have offered to help out with watching Gavin and those who have helped us out. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers. :)
Maybe you are wondering how i am doing, being 26 weeks pregnant and all. Well, i am doing surprisingly well. That night in the hospital with Tanner i got little sleep. Today i SOMEHOW found the energy to clean my house ALL DAY LONG. My mother-in-law is getting in tonight so we had to clean...seriously, cleaned all day. I wonder how i am finding all this energy. I am boggled. It will all hit me at once, i am sure. I just don't know when.

The past few weeks have been...

Crazy! We have been sick, we've had visitors, we've been having fun, etc. My mom and dad and little brother came to visit us and left yesterday morning to head back to Minnesota. We had lots of fun with them while they were here. We went shopping, went to Kalahari Waterpark and stayed overnight, ate out a lot(which means i didn't have to cook! But also means i gained more weight than necessary!), and enjoyed each other's company. We were sad to see them go home. My dad, sister, and Tanner all got sick on the last day they were here. They came down with bad fever's and sore throats. My sinus infection has finally ended since yesterday(it lasted 2 weeks!)....we almost took Tanner into the ER today b/c i was so worried about him. He keeps getting a really high fever of 104 when he isn't on ibuprofen...when he has the fever he gets a really bad heat rash on his face, his heart pounds soooooo fast and he breathes really fast, his eyes continually water and he looks PALE! It is scary. The doctor said there is a really terrible virus going around right now. I believe it. Poor little Tanner gets sick the worst. If Gavin gets sick it is for a short amount of time...he is usually over any sickness within 12-24 hours. His body fights it well. Tanner isn't so lucky. I think he has been sick on and off over the past few weeks....just like his mommy. Shane, well, let's just say that Gavin is lucky like Shane....he never gets sick. Here are two pictures i took of the boys while Tanner was happy on med's. They loved wearing hats today. It was funny.
Zsa Zsa and Papa brought the boys those dino-chi pets. They are these cute little dinosaurs that have 8 different moods they get in. They like when you play with them and pet them and react to their surroundings. The boys love em. In these pics the boys are wearing their favorite pajamas. Gavin has on his TRANSFORMERS pajamas....he absolutely LOVES Transformers. Tanner has on his Ironman pajamas.

Shane has off this entire next week of school. I am excited! Then he only has about 5 more weeks of school left for the semester. I can't believe it. We are going to be fourth year students!? wow, time flies. Seriously.

My sister-in-law just had her first baby yesterday. It made me anxious to get this little nugget out of me. :) The past few days he has been very active in me....ever since i went on some of the tube rides at the waterpark. After i got off of the tube ride he would start movin all over the place. :) He has such a personality already. I am about 26 weeks along now. It has gone by so fast and will keep going by fast. I haven't done anything to the nursery yet. I really need to get going with it.

Potty Trained

That is right. Tanner is officially potty trained. I am sure we will have accidents every once in awhile, like we did at church, but for the most part he does VERY well. We went to the zoo without any accidents, we went to the mall without any accidents, we went out to dinner without any accidents, we run errands without any accidents, etc. He is just doing awesome. He actually woke up in the night saying he had to go pee pee and he didn't like having a wet diaper. He seems to be more upset and aware of it in the night than Gavin is....maybe that is b/c he is a lighter sleeper than Gavin. Anyway, I now have two boys who don't wear diapers anymore! I couldn't be happier! :)

Day 6 of Potty Training

Today is the 6th day of potty training. Yesterday we made huge strides. Tanner had 2 accidents yesterday morning, but for the entire rest of the day he told me everytime he had to go pee pee. He went 11 times on the toilet. He is doing great. He is so proud of himself too. I keep telling him how he is a big boy now and since i started telling him he believes it. He insists on putting his clothes on himself. He insists on doing a lot of things himself now. Doing this potty training thing has opened up the independence door for him. :)

Is it allergy time? Anyone experiencing allergies? Ever since i got pregnant i get a bad cold every month. Yes, EVERY month. It is almost like a sinus infection. This month is the worst. MY nose is so completely clogged that i can't even taste food. Seriously, i taste nothing! It is horrible! For about 3-4 days now i can't taste what i am eating. I experience a horrible sinus headache and i can't breathe. Some days my stuffy nose is so bad that when i talk it sounds like i just sucked in helium. I can't fix it. I have never felt so clogged and it isn't going away. What is going on?!

{What i want my Boys to know}

Things i have learned that i want my boys to know...

1. Everyone is different and that is okay. That makes us each special. How boring life would be if we were all the same!
2. Do not judge others. You DON'T KNOW their story.
3. Always stand up for what you know to be true.
4. Consider advice that is given to you, especially from someone who has been through it or who is older than you. And especially when more than one person gives you the same advice. I have found that i should have listened a lot more. :)
5. Trials are a good thing. You learn and grow from them. They make you better and stronger. It is hard to see it in the moment, but you will notice after that trial has passed. When your trials are not a consequence of a wrong decision, it is evident that the Lord feels you are ready to grow more.
6. Always love and stick up for your family. They are the most important thing. Friends will come and go, but family is ALWAYS there.
7. Never lose faith.
8. Always give others the benefit of the doubt.
9. Learn to forgive. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
10. Always think positive about yourself. Don't let negative thoughts creep in. You are so much better than you realize. Negative thoughts are a waste of thinking.
11. Stay close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. When you feel like you have no one you always have them. They are always there. Trust me.
12. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
13. Smile a lot. It will make you happier and it will make others feel good and want to be around you.
14. Don't talk bad about others. Gossip spreads like crazy. It isn't nice.
15. Don't give into peer pressure. Do what you know to be right and true. You might get made fun of, BUT at least you are sticking up for who you are. People will learn to respect who you are and look up to you for it. Trust me.
16. ALWAYS treat girls/women with respect, even when they don't respect themselves. Please.
17. You cannot always be # 1. Get over it.
18. Be a leader, not a follower.
19. Live in the moment. Enjoy every moment that you have b/c time goes by so fast and you only get one chance at today.
20. Follow your dreams. Be what you want to be.
21. You CANNOT make everyone happy. It's okay.
22. Don't let other people run you over. If you don't want to do something then don't do it. Again, you can't make everyone happy. Don't be the person that says YES to everyone. You will eventually get tired of it and feel run over. It is okay to say NO. :)
23. Be honest. Really, it is the best thing. People appreciate honesty more than you think.
24. Don't get caught up in girls and dating and blah blah blah. Just work on yourself, do what you want and become who you want to be and when the time is right the right person will come along. DON'T search for it. Don't get so goo goo gah gah over girls that you forget what is left and right. Girls will come and go.
25. Hang out with friends that respect your decisions and who make you feel good about yourself. Don't hang out with those that make you feel bad about yourself.
26. The way you are living your life and WHO you are directly correlates with who you hang out with.
27. For goodness sake, don't get caught up in the first girl that comes along. Date around so you know for sure what you want. Be smart. By the way, I am referring to after your mission. No point in dating before that. ;)
28. Be generous and giving. If someone needs help, help them. You will find that service helps you find yourself, makes you happy, and makes others grateful for good people like you.
29. Pray often.
30. Learn to trust, but also be cautious and smart about who you put your trust in.
31. Make yourself laugh. Sometimes those are the best laughs i have.
32. Try to see the positives in every bad or hard situation. It can always be worse.
33. Learn to not stress over everything. It limits your happiness. There is no point in stressing over something that you can't change.
34. Learn to have fun.
35. Always trust your mom and dad. When you need help or need to talk or need an honest answer please come to mom and dad first. We love you more than anyone and want to help you more than anyone on this earth. We want to help and will and can help. Trust your mom and dad.
36. Love your mommy and appreciate her and show it. She needs that from you. She loves you more than anyone! :)
37. It is okay to cry. It is a good release.
38. Be confident in who you are.
39. Be grateful and appreciative ALWAYS. Realize how lucky you truly are for EVERYTHING you have.
40. Don't be hard on yourself. Always do your best and if you can't do something don't give yourself a hard time. Nobody is perfect. We can't be perfect at everything. It isn't possible. The sooner you realize that the better off you are.
41. Don't compare yourself to others. We are all so different. Be happy with who you are and what you can do. Just b/c you can't do something that someone else can do doesn't mean they are better than you. There is something you can do that others can't. That is what makes us all different. Rejoice in differences.
42. Don't be competitive with others when it comes to money--- what you have and others don't have or what others have and you don't have. It is a waste of time. Don't share finances with people. Don't brag about what you have. Possessions and money are not what makes you special. WHO you are as a person is what is important. Money isn't important in the whole scheme of things.

To be continued...

{Day 5 of Potty Training}

We are almost done! Tanner is doing great. So far this morning he hasn't had an accident. He told me he had to go pee-pee, went in and sat on his toilet and peed. He is so proud of himself. I think we will have this down by the 7th day. It is exciting. But now i have to remember to bring an extra pair of pants and underwear with me whenever we go out. Just in case he has an accident. I must say...it is a blessing to have boys when you are traveling in the car. If you have to you can just pull over and let them pee b/c it is so easy for boys. Point and go. There have been times where we are just out and about and Gavin panics b/c he has to pee, but we aren't near a bathroom. So we will just pull off to the side of the road in some parking lot and let him pee and hope that nobody see's us. :)

{Potty Training Progress}

Tanner is doing awesome. I set the timer every 20 minutes and when it goes off i tell him it is time to sit on the potty. He sits, gets a sticker for sitting, even if he doesn't go. Today, he went potty 5 times on the toilet....each time he pottied he came to me and told me he had to go. So, he did that all on his own. And he went poop once. I am so excited about this, i can't even tell you. :) I will have to type out his progress after tomorrow is over.

{Reality vs. Hollywood} {Update on Tanner}

If you get into The Bachelor then you will understand this post, but if you don't then i would assume this post isn't for you. On the last Bachelorette show Deanna was the main girl. I thought she seemed awesome, had a strong head on her shoulders, seemed to know exactly what she was looking for and wasn't going to mess around. I was very shocked when she picked Jesse. Jason seemed perfect for her. I remember feeling so bad for him in the end when he got dumped. His heart was broken. Not only that but Jason's heart was "supposedly" broken when his Ex-wife left him. He has a son. I just felt bad for him. When he became the next Bachelor for this season i was sooooooo excited. I had to watch it! He seemed like a great guy. He sincerely didn't want to hurt anyone and really seemed to want to get it RIGHT with the next woman he picked. I had been very impressed with the kind of guy he is throughout each episode, until last night! Before picking Melissa Deana came to see him and said she knew she made a mistake. She realized that she should have picked Jason. Yup, i knew that one. So, Jason proposed to Melissa, which is who i wanted him to pick. She seemed perfect for him. It all seemed great and i was so happy for both of them. But then, suddenly, 10 minutes later he is dumping Melissa on television in front of America to say he wants to have a shot with Molly instead....wow, that is as low as you can get. I was in complete shock at what he was doing. Yeah, sure, he needs to be true to how he is feeling. Understand that. I understand that you can't do what other people want and you have to do what is right for YOU. I understand that you can NEVER make everyone happy. Besides, Its not about everyone, its about you being true to yourself and doing what makes you happy. Afterall, we can't expect him to stay with someone that he just doesn't have feelings for anymore. I understand that, but it is the WAY he did it that made me so mad. And also how quickly he was able to move onto Molly after proposing and announcing his love for Melissa just a few weeks before. How does that make sense at all? Real LOVE doesn't turn off like that....so that makes me think he never loved Melissa...so then why did he pick Melissa? WEIRD. Not only that, but he knows that Melissa has been hurt many times. He knows that she has been the one to be dumped everytime and she is tired of being the dumpee....so he thinks, why not dig a knife into the wound? She hasn't been hurt enough nor dumped enough so i think i will propose to her, make her think her chance has finally come, and then 6 weeks later DUMP her in front of America and tell her i want to try with Molly. Yikes. Just take that knife and dig it deeper and deeper. Not only that but he doesn't show any remorse for what he is doing to her...not the way he showed remorse when he dumped Molly.

Eeewww...that made me so mad. Horrible. Horrible. I completely saw him in a different way after that happened. But hey, that happens. Nobody is perfect and just b/c television made him appear like a Prince Charming doesn't mean he is one. That is the bad thing about t.v. They portray things in a way that just isn't reality...and we fall for it. They show us all the BEST things about these people, and leave out ANY imperfections...imperfections that exist in EVERY person. He is human and that is all we can expect from him, right?

UPDATE on Tanner: After an entire day of wet pants from Tanner, around dinner time he finally told me he had to go pee-pee and went to the toilet and went pee. This morning he told me he had to poo, so he went to the toilet and went poo. He told me later he had to pee, so he went pee pee AGAIN on the toilet. In the meantime, he is still having accidents, but he is catching on! I am excited! :) By the way, staying at home and having to set a timer for every 20 minutes all day long is very tiring, but it is worth it i know. :) By the end of the day we have 2 days down and 5 more to go!

UPDATE on Baby: I am 24 weeks along now. Our baby has caught up with an ear of corn in size and gained about 1/4 pound since last week. (Length: almost a foot.) He weighs over a pound.

{Tanner's Big Day}

Today is a big day for Tanner. Today starts his potty training. I found a good way of potty training through a friend of mine. I am not training Tanner the way i trained Gavin because i don't think it will be as effective. Here is the link to a great way of potty training your child, if you are interested... http://www.toilettraining4toddlers.blogspot.com/ Tanner is doing good so far. He already had one accident, hasn't gone on the toilet yet this morning, BUT he is very excited to sit on the toilet, wants to sit on the toilet, loves wearing his thick Gerber training underwear, and feels like a big boy! This process takes a whole week of dedication and consistency on my part. Basically i can't go anywhere this whole week b/c i am dedicating it all to training Tanner. :) I am excited though b/c if he is ready then it will work and it will be so awesome to have him out of diapers! He has a sticker chart taped up right next to the toilet and he gets to put a sticker on everytime he sits on the toilet. I have to put him on the toilet every 20 minutes. I have a timer that helps me remember this. :) Thank goodness. I realize that the next few days might be kind of long b/c 20 minutes goes by really fast. I feel like i am putting him on the toilet every 5 minutes. But it is worth it in the end. :) Tanner will be potty trained before this baby comes. It will definitely be nice for me. The link that i gave above is another mom's blog....she has five children and has learned exactly how to potty train. Her method worked with all of her kids....they were all trained within a week. So, i have confidence that this will work as long as Tanner is ready. I know he is ready b/c he tells me when he wants changed, and he takes his pants AND diaper off often. Anyway, here is to another child about to be finished with diapers! woohoo! :)