I am readin this book right now called Eat, Pray, Love. It is about this woman who gets a divorce and tries to find herself again. Her way of finding herself is by traveling to India, Italy, and Indonesia. She says a lot of interesting, but true facts in here about Americans and life. One thing she talks about is Americans and how we can't seem to RELAX. Here is what she says that i find to be so true of many of us.
"Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn[(hope this doesn't offend. And unfortunately this is so true)] to theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But as Luca Spaghetti[(an actual person)] pointed out, we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma(which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype--the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax."
Then she goes on to talk about how Italians relax... ""il bel far niente"(the beauty of doing nothing) has always been a cherished Italian ideal. The beauty of doing nothing is the goal of all your(Italians) work, the final accomplishment for which you are most highly congratulated. The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life's achievement....; l' arte d' arrangiarsi--the art of making something out of nothing. The art of turning a few simple ingredients into a feast, or a few gathered friends into a festival. Anyone with a talent for happiness can do this...."
Then she goes on to talk about Americans again..."For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of pleasure was my ingrained sense of Puritan Guilt. Do i really deserve this pleasure? This is very American , too--the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud's for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You're Worth It! You've Come a Long Way, Baby! And the insecure consumer thinks, Yeah! Thanks! I am gonna go buy a six-pack! Maybe even two six-packs! [(Now, since the majority of those who read this, including myself, don't drink just replace that with something else we do...for example, I am gonna go shopping and spend lots of money)]. And then comes the reactionary binge. Followed by the remorse. Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled to enjoyment in this life."
Interesting. Anyway, hopefully none of us fall in this category. If we do, we need to take a step back and do a little reevaluating. Why don't we Americans feel entitled to relax? Maybe there are some of us who don't feel guilty and that is great. What is your secret? I find myself feeling guilt a lot if i am not spending almost all of my time with my kids. I find that i need to chill out and realize i AM entitled to sit down on the couch and read for awhile or even just veg for a while. Don't get me wrong, i definitely do do these things. But while i do these things i feel guilty. My mind races of things i COULD be doing. Just thinking about it makes me want to yell at myself "CHILL OUT MAN!" Why can't i be like the Italians? aahhhh. Anyway, she also said of her family, "We had a lot of enjoyment in my family, a lot of laughter, but the walls were papered with to-do lists." I have seen The Nanny when she has gone into homes where the parents have the to-do list for their kids with EVERY hour filled in with something. My gosh it just looks tiring! Maybe some of us need to take a chill pill and try to remember the things that REALLY matter. What is the need that we Americans have to make sure we are always busy? I find that when i feel like i need to keep busy, and am constantly going and going, it makes life more stressful than it needs to be. We shouldn't make life more stressful than it already is. We don't need to fill in every hour with something. Kids make life busy and chaotic, this i know, but don't make it more chaotic than it needs to be. This post is one meant for me and me alone. I don't have anyone in mind while typing this. I am just writing down my own thoughts. Sort of just talking to myself. :)
5 years ago
4 comments:
I agree with you, but it is easier said than done. In fact I actually feel better if I do something than nothing, so therefore it is hard to let myself relax. In fact, Brian and I had a little argument about this last night. I kept asking him what he wanted to do this week and he just wanted to do nothing. It made me upset to just sit infront of the TV when we have so little time together. Oh well, I guess he was right.
Still, i know how you feel Alison. I am that way too. I hate sitting in front of the TV when we could be doing something TOGETHER. :) I mean, you can do nothing together,like sit and talk and hang out, but you aren't really together when you are watching TV b/c you aren't paying attention to each other.
I've been curious about this book. Would you recommend it? I think, being members of the church, it's easier to feel guilty when we are busy... sometimes I feel like if my week isn't PACKED, someone is going to judge me and think I'm not doing my job, which is so silly. We all really need to just chill out sometimes ;)
Very interesting thoughts, Ashlee. I was really struck by that passage as well. I was reading it in the airport and leaned over to let my husband read the page. We are very go go go people (although I have to have my reading time, but because I'm working my mind I don't feel that it is wasting time). My husband certainly doesn't know how to relax (I'm not much better), but we could never take the type of vacation where we just sit on the beach and do nothing for a week. I think that in general Americans work too hard. I work 40 hours a week, not including the 10 hours a week I sit in my car on the way to and from work and for what?? I really struggle with the whole work now thing relax when you're old. And I don't even necessarily think that relaxing entails sitting on our behinds doing nothing, but rather just sitting back to enjoy life. Sorry to ramble a little. I've kind of been going through some things lately and have a lot on my mind--been doing a lot of re-evaluating.
So, you enjoying the book??
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